Unique Trials that Bind

[Theophan]

Trials - Same but different, Or The Other Way Around

Today at 5:23pm | Edit Note | Delete
Below is part of an excerpt to a man who is seeking his way and trying to decide which way to go. He has been sending me questions regularly of late. This excerpt also unleashed some self reflection on the topic at hand. I hope and pray that you will find some encouragement in these thoughts It is not the absence of trials that proves or disproves God's existence, but the ability to endure, take advantage of, and rise above the tragedies of life that are sure existential indicators of the existence of God - the Orthodox God of one in three: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Please keep in mind this letter is addressed to someone with almost no self-conscious theological knowledge or experience. I am writing for him and who he is at this time - thus the lack of distinctively Orthodox terminology.

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Dear D_________,


Thanks for the questions D_________ - they are really good and well thought out. I really appreciate your questions because they have not been tainted by any preconceived theological schools or positions - just an honest heart seeking honest answers. I look forward to answering them as soon as I am able to.

One thing I tell almost everyone who comes to me for counseling or spiritual direction is that each person's trials are unique. Even if I have the same exact trial as another on the outside, because of who I am on the inside makes it one of a kind. In a real way, there is no way anyone else can relate to what we are going through.

In this context it is easy to become so wrapped up in ourselves that we forget that others have trials that are just as difficult, or even more so, that their trials are also the worse anyone could be going through at a given moment.

Also mentioned is the observation that one thing we all have in common is that we all have trials and our too trials easily become our world, and though they make us feel alone. We must keep in mind, that the very uniqueness of our trials is also one of the most profound commonalities we have with others; giving birth to mercy and compassion for one another.

Our trials being unique, and sometimes feeling that they are more than we can take is also very common - if we were to sit down and think of what others are going through, despite the hardship we face, we would not want to trade it for someone else' trials.

God has His divine hand in each of our lives custom tailoring our trials and glories especially to bring us to a place in which our outer circumstances will no longer become governing factors in our moods or decisions. At that point we are truly united with God and He with us and for the first time we know what freedom really is - and also a love for others that is pure because we do not have any ulterior motives lurking in the back of our souls.

The issue is not the trials themselves as they are about how we respond to them. I am in no way exonerating those who treat us sinfully and cruelly - that is a different subject for another time. I am also in way belittling the physical and emotional pain we all go through. Both of these are real and tragic, but this too is another topic for another day. I do not know all the reasons for every painful, evil, or personally inflicting trauma we must all bare. Sure, some can be pointed to a specific issue, but sometimes things just do not make sense because of our finite information, lack of a "big picture," as well as our limited scope, refering almost everything to our immediate space and time.

The point of sharing these thoughts is that on the one hand, we are unique - no one else like us in the past, present or future, including the trials that shape who we become in our future. On the other hand, this very individuality is also a profound bonding unity with all those who share our common plight of making the best of as well as with God's help, to take advantage of indifferent things, good things and the bad bad things that affect us.

A simple smile, squeeze of the shoulder, kiss on ther forehead, or other like gesture can work a work not short of miraculous. We should keep in mind that we usually respond to others as we were just responded to. Only we can carry on the love and smile or break the chain of self-centeredness, despondency, and self-pity.